How did we not see this coming? It turns out that the combined brilliance of the scientific minds of the United States, China, and Japan could not accomplish what a single inventor in Iran did – produce a working time machine. To be honest, this isn’t the glam Hollywood version of a souped-up DeLorean speeding into the future and past. Instead, 27-year-old Ali Razeqi, the managing director of Iran’s Center for Strategic Inventions, has given us a device that uses complex algorithms to predict details of your life 5-8 years into the future.
Well, isn’t that special? It certainly would be if the scenario didn’t reek of a scientific community out of touch with the rest of the world for approximately 19 centuries suddenly making wild claims for attention. Razeqi went on to provide more details in an interview with Iran’s state-run news agency, Fars. Brace yourself, gentle readers.
It turns out that this virtually infallible future prediction machine “easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you.”
Unfortunately for techno-nerds around the world, you won’t be able to run down to the nearest Best Buy and stock up. Razeqi announced that Iran has decided to keep his invention secret for now, fearing that “the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight.”
But wait a minute. it appears there might be trouble brewing in Tehran. In a direct contradiction of Razeqi, Iran’s Deputy Minister of Science, Research, and Technology rebutted the claim of a working time machine. Mysteriously, the link to that interview with Fars has disappeared from the Internet.
Where does that leave millions of people around the globe who had high hopes of buying a cheap Chinese knock-off of a working time – err – future predictor? Out of luck would be our best guess. Islamic theocratic republics play their cards notoriously close to the vest, especially when it comes to an invention of this global magnitude. On the other hand, could this be – dare we say it – North Korean-style delusions of grandeur? You could probably lay hands on similar technology inside the nearest box of Cracker Jacks. (Top image: Flickr | thethreesisters)
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The Holistic Survival Team